so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can't turn off my feet"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
