I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
