im drinking this country out of the recession.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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