you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
