I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
