i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
