He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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