But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
