can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
