i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
