I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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