So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
