Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
