Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Say something about gay babies.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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