so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
