Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
