Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
