Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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