This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
