My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
