you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
