He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
