You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize