New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
