How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im holly from the hills drunk
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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