maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
