You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
