Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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