I heard we made out
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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