he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
