Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
