she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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