We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
