youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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