would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
