so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
