New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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