saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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