the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
