Did you just see the Batmobile???
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
