The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
