Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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