This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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