Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
