You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
