she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
