Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
