I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
handjob tips. give me some.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
