so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I AM VODKA MAN
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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