i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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