Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
