i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
