you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
